Article by Technology Director, Jessica Margolin
Despite the demands of a full-time career, Dissirama Lao Akpoboua manages to navigate the complexities of modern motherhood with grace and determination. From morning routines to bedtime stories, she juggles it all with unwavering love and dedication. Through her story, we hope to inspire and empower all mothers who dream of pursuing a career while raising a family. Dissirama proves that with hard work, perseverance and a whole lot of love, anything is possible.
Tell me about your family…
Our family is made up of four of us – my husband, our two children, Gabriel (6), and Raphaelle (3), and myself. Originally from Ivory Coast, we’ve moved around a lot, settling in California from Canada seven years ago for work. We’re a lively bunch who love to travel, laugh, and keep busy, especially finding new things for the kids to do. Gabriel’s full of curiosity, and Raphaelle’s laughter fills our home with joy. We enjoy exploring California and beyond, immersing ourselves in different cultures and trying new things. Our family’s bond is strong, rooted in love, shared experiences, and a sense of adventure that keeps us thriving.
What brought you to Brentwood?
Well, that’s an interesting question, especially considering I mainly work in San Mateo! We actually started off living in Hayward, then moved to Concord before settling in Brentwood. When we were house-hunting, Brentwood stood out to us because of its reasonable home prices and its family-friendly atmosphere. Despite the commute a couple of times a week, we found that Brentwood offers a wonderful environment for families, which made it worth it. We had visited friends and other families in the area before, and it just clicked for us. So, we made the move and haven’t looked back since!
What made you join the MOB?
Well, joining MOB was a natural step for me. Being somewhat of a nomad, I’ve come to appreciate the importance of finding a community wherever I go. Nobody thrives alone, especially moms, and sometimes having a tribe of like-minded individuals going through similar experiences is what keeps me sane. Plus, I’ve been running a motherhood-focused blog since my first little one – Happy Home Co. (justhappyhomeco.com), where I document thoughts, experiences, and moments. Joining MOB allows me to tap into a wealth of other experiences, enriching my own journey as a mother. MOB provides opportunities for kids’ playdates, moms’ nights out, and other fun events, which have been instrumental in helping me discover Brentwood better. It’s not just about finding support; it’s also about creating lasting connections and making the
Can you tell us about your journey as a working mom, balancing your career with raising two children?
In my day to day professional life – I’m a seasoned financial services and payments expert with over 15 years of experience in operational effectiveness and risk management. I lead a global team of risk professionals for a top tier payment company. Throughout my career, I’ve challenged the status quo, navigated complexity, and translated leading management practices into actionable strategies. My fearlessness when it comes to big ideas, paired with my attention to detail, has allowed me to execute with excellence and build a track record of success. My kids think I am a chef and that is good enough for me when I get home 😀 – All I can say is that it is not quite as much of a balancing act as many would like to think. Many times it is about choices but more often than not I find myself having to choose career vs. family – I just try to pick family most times if that makes sense. Building a supportive network with fellow working moms and communicating openly with my husband who is very present at every level of raising our kids helps me. I redefine success based on my own terms, prioritizing quality time with my children. Embracing flexibility in my work schedule allows me to make every moment count with my family.
What are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced in juggling your professional responsibilities with your role as a mother? How have you overcome them?
Picture this: You’re a working mom, already trying to balance life like a circus performer spinning plates. Suddenly, the big bosses approach you with a promotion, more responsibilities, and a bigger team to lead. Gulp! Fear instantly courses through your veins like a shot of espresso. Questions flood your mind – Can I handle this? Will my kids resent me? Will my hubby still dig me? – Not to make this too long, I wrote about it here – Embracing the Fear: Thriving in a Cutthroat Work World as a Working Mom — Happy Home Co. (justhappyhomeco.com)
In short, overcoming the balance challenges comes down to a word that is hard for a lot of people to accept – Sacrifices! I often give up a bit of personal time or sleep to keep all the plates spinning. But hey, that’s the mom’s life hustle. On the other hand I am proud to be able to provide for my family. When it comes to success, forget racing up the corporate ladder at warp speed. I tried it which resulted in a miscarriage (at least I believe that was it) between my 1st and 2nd child. It was not healthy for me. It’s about finding my groove, my balance. Currently I try to kick butt at work during more strict hours and timeframes so I can still be there for bedtime stories and boo-boo kisses and even sneak in a workout or a long walk for myself.
Can you share any memorable moments or milestones in your journey as a working mom that have shaped your perspective on both motherhood and your career?
One of the most memorable moments in my journey as a working mom was the loss of our second child through a miscarriage. It was a devastating experience that reshaped my perspective on both motherhood and my career. The pain of that loss was profound, but through the support of my family, friends, and faith, I found the strength to cope and eventually try again for another child. The fear of another loss lingered throughout my subsequent pregnancy, but with each milestone, from the first ultrasound to feeling the baby move, there was also hope. When our daughter, Rafi, was born healthy, she became a constant reminder of our healing and joy (Raphaelle means Healing). This journey taught me the importance of compassionate language surrounding pregnancy loss and the enduring love I hold for the child we lost. Moreover, this experience had a profound impact on my career. It made me realize the necessity of putting myself at the center of the work-life balance equation and prioritizing my well-being above all else. I learned that without taking care of myself, I couldn’t effectively balance the demands of motherhood and my career. This realization led me to carve out dedicated time for self-care and personal fulfillment, which ultimately improved my overall well-being.
In what ways do you incorporate self-care practices into your busy schedule to ensure your well-being as a working mother?
I make sure to wake up early to pray and gather my strength for the day ahead. It’s my special time to reflect and feel grateful for everything in my life – my family, the new day, and all the opportunities waiting for me. I realized that saying no to things that drain my energy and making time for myself isn’t selfish; it’s actually really important for me and my family’s happiness. I’ve also figured out that scheduling time just for me in my work calendar is key. Whether it’s going for a walk, chatting with a friend, or getting lost in a good book, these moments help me feel refreshed and ready to tackle anything. Another thing that’s become my self-care routine is sharing memorable moments with my family, friends, and followers online. Writing about our adventures and my lessons learned on my blog and posting photos of our happiest times isn’t just about sharing with others—it’s about taking a moment to pause, take a deep breath, and relive those happy memories myself.
As a role model for other working moms, what advice would you give to those striving to excel in their careers while nurturing their family life?
By focusing on these key points below, I believe working moms can excel in their careers while nurturing themselves and their family, again that is most of the time but I would please urge you to accept and make peace with the fact that there will be time you will have to choose work over family EVEN, when you are your own boss – especially if you are career driven – just make sure you choose family most of the other times – , here’s my advice:
- Prioritize your “why”! Some people work for money, some work to raise a family, while others intrinsically enjoy and identify with what they do. There’s no right or wrong—just make sure you have compelling reasons that keep you going through challenges and that you can rally your family around.
- Set clear boundaries between work and family time. Unless your spouse and little kids are involved, allow them some breathing space. Personally, I don’t mind my kids thinking I’m a chef sometimes—I wish I specialized in cooking their mac and cheese after a hard day.
- Delegate tasks and ask for help when needed. Whether it’s your husband, partner, parents, babysitter, or friend, summon your village guilt-free. You can’t do it all, mama. You’ve got this, but you’ll go faster with some help.
How do you envision the future of working motherhood, and what changes would you like to see in the workplace to better support moms in their professional endeavors?
As a working mother, I envision a future where the workplace truly embraces and supports the unique needs of moms. Having to return to work in person, even in hybrid mode negatively impacted my morale and took precious time away from my family AND my job due to long commutes. That being said I understand the value of fostering better relationships in person and it is part of corporate life. I believe that creating a more supportive and accommodating workplace environment for working mothers benefits not only moms but also employers, as it leads to happier, more productive employees and a more diverse and inclusive workforce. I envision a future where workplaces offer:
- Flexible work arrangements, including remote options and flexible schedules based on the employee or leader’s agency/judgment vs. a quota..
- Supportive policies like extended parental leave and on-site subsidized child care.
- Accessible resources such as counseling and parental coaching.
What do you always carry in your purse?
Lip balm – I get very upset and angsty when my lips are dry. Life is hard and busy enough as it is, no need to be caught out there looking ashy lol 😀
Favorite playground in Brentwood?
Blue Goose Park in the summer is our happy place in Brentwood to hang out with the kids! It literally has everything we need!
Favorite restaurant in Brentwood?
Hmm…I do not have a favorite restaurant in Brentwood yet – My closest best restaurant is in Walnut Creek: Teleferic – Not a full service restaurant but we love to hang out there for the best ice cream is Sip & Scoop! get from them. It’s crazy that you created these little miracles.
